"INTIMIDATION"... "To deter by threats",
"to frighten into submission".
Two dictionary definitions of the word. We've all faced it, used it and been influenced by it. We grew up with it and all our adult lives are continually being altered by it. But what exactly is it, and how do we conquer it? Perhaps the first step is to try and understand a little about it, never forgetting that sometimes intimidation is so subtly hidden that we often miss it. My old Sensei once said that intimidation works best when we allow it to. We can often refuse it, but most often, we don't. We experience many forms of intimidation from a very early age and it becomes the norm almost as soon as we understand language. "If you don't eat your dinner you won't get any ice cream" or "wait until dad gets home, he'll give you a good hiding". As children we face it daily, from this and other forms of intimidation from parents, teachers, peers, older children etc. It's not surprising then, that we become so used to being intimidated, often so much, that we actually come to expect it. Animals (including us) use many forms of intimidation, with the hopeful result of this being more or less the same possibilities... The defeat of the prey or the retreat of the enemy. Man of course can be EITHER the hunter or the prey. By beating their chests, gorillas intimidate others so they are no longer a threat. Other animals use other forms of intimidation including visual: Some creatures mimic looking like more dangerous ones, simply to avoid being eaten. Others use sound, snarls, screams etc to intimidate would be predators. The list is endless but the object is always the same: to intimidate would be attackers from actually attacking. Human forms of intimidation are similarly diverse and include the visual, verbal and physical. There ARE others but for the purpose of the newsletter, three will suffice and we will take them in order showing how they affect us, and how we can best deal with them. Hopefully, also in the process, you will be able to turn the tables on your aggressor. The three are. Visual intimidation Verbal intimidation Covert/subtle intimidation.
"This takes the form of size and appearance, regardless of the truth or otherwise of the situation, size is invariably linked with hardness, "Bigger is harder". I know people who have worn several sweaters under there clothes to give the impression of being bigger, thus 'harder'. Some men actually take up bodybuilding for the reason that they look bigger. Hoping that an increase in muscular size will act as a deterrent against threats, the truth of the matter is that big arms DON'T always make big punchers. I do admit that a guy in good muscular condition will probably be a bigger handful than one who is clearly right out of condition. The large and muscular man who spreads his "lats", puffs out his chest and stretches himself to the tallest height and biggest size, is often doing so to hopefully intimidate a smaller would-be opponent. A broken nose, tattoos, scars, certain hair and clothing styles can all give certain visual impressions, thus a form of intimidation. Just think about the impression given by skinhead haircuts, leather jackets, uniforms, even Gi's and the colour of the belt. The second type of intimidation we are going to cover is 'Verbal intimidation' "Touch that again pal and I'll deck ya!". This is an obvious and direct from of verbal intimidation as is "Is it you who's drawn against our best fighter next round? Pity you mate!" - this is a slightly less direct threat. Someone once said to me when I was on "the doors": "Hit me pal and I bleed on you, you're dead, coz I've got AIDS". Simply put, Verbal Intimidation is used just to make you think... Finally there's' Covert or Subtle Intimidation' One common way would-be aggressors can try to intimidate you is through their reputation as "Hard men". Others use their reputations for being good at revenge "I do home visits", you know the sort, you may well be able to "Do them" in a real go, but they are the sort who turn up at your home and petrol bomb it or do the windows or simply come mob handed. It's not too easy to bring yourself to hammer the shit out of someone you know is perfectly capable of torching your house the next day. If you can't overcome and distance yourself from these forms of intimidation before you even start throwing punches, then you're fighting ability will be well impaired. There's no doubt that if you are worried about the consequences of fighting, the pain,damage, injury or even death, then you've already given in to intimidation and your opponent has already won."
"When you face opponents, in competition, in training or for real your first dual priorities are to refuse THEIR intimidation and inflict your own. If you accept theirs you have already lost, what then can you do to TURN the tables? We all follow certain "Rules" when in a confrontational situation, we generally begin by trying to win verbal points, he challenges you and you respond. This is often a mistake, by batting the metaphorical verbal ball back to your opponent you have entered the game using HIS ball and playing by HIS rules. But if you were to choose to ignore him totally or use an answer totally opposite of the conversation, then he would have to rapidly alter his challenge, because his conscious or even subconscious thought out plan isn't going his way. You see, whether he knows it or not, he WILL have worked out a game plan, but when the plans go wrong so does his confidence and control. So, even by just altering the plan slightly you have already tipped the scales in your favour. In the animal kingdom a predator expects two things from his quarry, one is to freeze the other is to run, predators rarely expect or can deal with aggression turned back on them. So it is with us, those scum who mug the elderly and defenseless do so in the knowledge that their quarry will act as victims not aggressors. The assailant expects cringing submission - not your size ten in his nuts. Refuse his challenges, don't argue with him, you are NOT there to enter into dialogue you owe him absolutely NOTHING. Don't argue, he expects that, don't beg, he wants that, ignore him and walk away (keeping a good eye on him) or change the subject. Getting him to have to think about what's said or done takes his mind from the physical aggression for the moment, enough time for you to plan and execute your escape or better still, your OWN attack."
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